Perry Smith (murderer)

Yeah, it’s been awhile.  I know.  I’ve been sick, busy, uninspired…blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, this weekend I borrowed the movie “Capote” from the library.  I’ve seen it before, but this time I decided to watch it a little more closely, including the “making of” featurettes.  After a comment that an actor made about Perry Smith (one of the men involved in the Clutter murders that are chronicled in Capote’s book In Cold Blood), I decided to look for some more information online.  After typing the man’s name into Google, the first list of sites popped up.  On top of that list was the article in Wikipedia titled, “Perry Smith (murderer).”

No, I don’t want to come across as soft on criminals, but that heading fucking sucks.  Yes, the murders were brutal.  Yes, the story is infamous.  Yes, Wikipedia needs to provide some measure of disambiguation.  But to have lived your whole life and then, after death, to be defined by that one word… I don’t know.

I know why it’s written that way.  I know that people who have committed terrible crimes that are greatly publicized are often remembered only by the acts for which they have been convicted.  (Think of other famous assassins, serial killers, or terrorists).  I’m not saying that it doesn’t make sense.  I’m just saying that it sucks.

Shabbat and the Single Person

As I shared in my last post, I’ve decided to get the ball rolling on this whole Judaism thing by observing Shabbat. Figuring out the “how” of observing Shabbat is sure to be an interesting journey, in fact I already seem to be conflicting myself.

As I shared last post, I have decided to observe Shabbat by not working. This means not going in on Saturday (which I’ve done too often in the past) and also not taking/making calls when I have the on-call phone once or twice a month. I’m already concerned that people (mainly my co-workers) will see this as me trying to cop-out on my job responsibilities. Someday, (hopefully not in a hostile environment) I hope to explain to them that the purpose of observing Shabbat is so that I can have the chance to grow as a Jewish person–through attending services, studying Torah, doing other readings and, maybe in the future, to do Havdalah and other Shabbat rituals.

However, after talking to my supervisor about not working on Shabbat, other things came to mind. Due to the distance from my home, I will have to drive to the synagogue for services and other gatherings. I also thought about the commitment I’ve made to be a mentor for a year. Due to my work schedule and the kid’s school schedule, weekends are the prime time for getting together, which means Shabbat is going to be a day to get together. I also thought about knitting–something that I love to do, but rarely get the chance to do during the week. Knitting, like driving, is considered melachot, which is forbidden on Shabbat. I guess I am just concerned that I am doing too much picking and choosing here. I guess since I am converting Reform, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I’m not sure how to feel about this.

Anyway, here’s my other issue–where I am hoping you, dear readers (or someone you know) could help. Since I am a single person living in small town Iowa and the synagogue through which I am converting is over an hour away, I’m not really in close proximity to any other Jews– much less any group that caters to the single Jew. I do plan on attending Saturday morning minyans twice a month, but I would like to have a more fulfilling Shabbat experience when I am at home. While I hope to spend time with some families in the congregations on a Shabbat or two, the idea of doing Shabbat alone around 50% of the time is daunting. I’m looking for ideas that anyone might have about how to go about doing this.

Anyway, that is that. More to follow as my journey progresses.

***EDIT: After doing a little research, I found this excerpt from Gates of the Seasons, the American Reform Movement’s Guide to the Jewish Year. It makes me feel a little better about the “picking and choosing.”

The Mitzvah of refraining from work It is a mitzvah to refrain from work on Shabbat…Abstinence from work is a major expression of Shabbat observance; however, it is no simple matter to define work today. Certain activities that some do to earn a living, others do for relaxation or to express their creativity. Clearly, though, one should avoid one’s normal occupation or profession on Shabbat whenever possible and engage only in those types of activities that enhance the joy, rest, and holiness of the day.

just LIVE it (with a side of Griffin)

My big weekend went great! On Sunday morning, I left for the 1.5 hour drive to my nearest Reform synagogue. When I arrived at the meeting for current/prospective converts, I was met by the rabbi, a couple and their younger daughter and a a ten year old girl. Definitely a spread. I won’t go into too much detail because I am crunched for time (and it would likely be tedious information for most of you), but it was really great to go. The couple has actually been on the path to converting for a couple years now and will go through the bet din and mikveh in a few months. The young girl (even I was skeptical at first) got interested in Judaism a couple years ago. The rabbi actually turned her away several times (telling her she was too young) but she has been very persistent and is active in the children’s education program at the synagogue.

Long story short, we all talked about our experiences that had led us to this point in our lives. Turns out the couple actually lives in a town that’s about an hour away as well, which gave me a little more feeling like “Yeah, this is do-able.” They and the rabbi reinforced that it is definitely a commitment, but well worth it. When I asked the rabbi about the requirements for converting through her synagogue so I could get started, she replied, “Just start living it!” She suggested that I come to the Learner’s Minyan that they hold once a month (mostly for b’nai mitzvah students) that would help me learn about the meanings of the prayers. She was really understanding about the time and money going into driving and said that my goal should be to attend two services a month. She also said that if I planned on coming for a weekday holiday or if I ever wanted to attend a Friday evening service, she could set me up with a family to stay with so that I wouldn’t have to drive home late at night. Other than that, I’m meant to start “doing Jewish” as much as possible at home, including celebrating holidays and observing mitzvot. I’m planning on attending the Saturday minyan this weekend which will be really exciting. Funny thing is, this congregation is in the middle of building a new synagogue, so they meet for services at various local churches or the Ronald McDonald house across the street. So, I won’t have my first real synagogue experience for awhile.

Anyway, I talked to one of my supervisors about this today (the only one who knows about my plans to convert and who I’m getting to be friends with) and shared that I am going to start being observant of Shabbat by not working from sundown on Friday until sundown on Saturday. Since our office is only open Monday through Thursday, this really only affects the “on-call phone” that I get on a three week rotation, but it will affect everyone so I figured it was fair to let her know. She was really understanding and really excited for me, which was great. I’ll admit I don’t expect my other co-workers to be quite as good about it, but I guess we’ll see.

Expect a post on Shabbat observance in the next couple of days. I will be needing some advice.

Anyway… onto Griffin! I’ve posted the first few photos to Flickr, so check that out. He is adorable and cuddly and cute. Hanna was not having any of that for the first few days, so Griffin stayed in the kitchen whenever I was gone or at night. But lately Hanna’s resistance has gone from angry, adamant snarling to lazy, last-second hissing just to keep up appearances. She was truly on edge at first, but on the second day you could tell that Griff just wanted to be friends. He follows her everywhere and when she hisses he just meows back pathetically as if to say, “But I just wanted to sit by you.” Griffin definitely finds me much less interesting that he finds Hanna. He would rather spend 4 hours being rejected and ignored by her than 10 minutes cuddling in my lap. Which I think is a good sign.

I’ve also determined that having two cats does indeed make one a “crazy cat lady.” First of all, you have to be on the edge of sanity to even consider a second cat. Once you’ve exceeded that threshold, any semblance of reasonable thinking is out the window.

BIG weekend

As those around me already know, I have been really stressed out lately.  Two weekends ago, my car broke down in Wisconsin.  Last weekend, I was “on-call” for work during a blizzard warning.  Work hasn’t been great because I feel like I don’t have enough time to do everything I’m supposed to do.  For the past two weeks, I have really been looking forward to my next two weekends off.  Then, about midweek, all that changed.  Suddenly, my dreams of carefree weekend of staying at home, sleeping in, and knitting until the wee hours of the morning.  But, it’s actually a good thing.  Here’s why:

1. Hanna Kate is getting a little brother!  About a month ago, I shared with the girls at work that I was looking at getting another cat and to keep me in mind if they knew of anything.  One of the secretaries shared that she had rescued a cat six months ago that she could no longer afford to care for.  We talked about it off and on for a couple weeks and I finally went to meet him on Tuesday.  He’s nine-month old, jet black, medium-hair little rascal with a bushy squirrel tail and an affinity for water.  I was in love.  We agreed it was a match and decided to make the appointment to get him neutered, vaccinated and all that.  Much to my surprise, the vet’s office offered to do the procedure by the end of the week!  As of tomorrow, Hanna Kate will be a big sister and Griffin (his NEW name) will be the newest addition to the apartment.  I’m really excited, but I know Hanna may not be so keen to a new pal at first.  My entire reason for getting a second cat is because Hanna has been surrounded by other cats or dogs her whole life and since living with me she spends a lot of time alone four days a week.  But, she has spent the past five months on her own, so I’m expecting a little animosity at first, but hopefully they’ll become good pals.  I’ll post some pictures in the next couple of weeks.
2. Earlier this week, I received an e-mail from the Rabbi I’ve been in touch with saying that they would be having a meeting at the synagogue for current and prospective converts.  I shared that I would be delighted to attend, but when the invitation came in the mail I discovered it was for this Sunday.  Since I’ve never met the rabbi before and this meeting is a pretty big step for me I got kinda nervous and even searched for possible excuses as to why I couldn’t make it.  After I realized that the weather was going to be fine and that I wasn’t working and didn’t really have anything else to do, I called the synagogue and gave my RSVP.  I’ll be spending my Sunday afternoon noshing on bagels and chatting about my journey to Judaism with other people who are in pretty much the same boat as me.  I can’t wait!

So, that’s the big weekend.  In other news… I’ve been meaning to mention for awhile that I’ve begun to wash my hair with baking soda.  Out of shampoo one night, I remembered a friend who had gone on an au natural kick a few years ago and mixed a tablespoon of baking soda with a cup of warm water.  My hair felt cleaner than it ever has before!  I’ve been washing like this for a little over a week now and it’s going great.  I attempted a conditioning wash the other day consisting of apple cider vinegar and water, but my hair felt a little too greasy afterwards, so I may have to fiddle with the ratio a bit.  Anyway, for anyone who’s poor or just looking for a new way to clean their hair, I’d really recommend this method.  It’s cheap, easy, and definitely environmentally sound.