it’s the hap- happiest season of all

During a routine trip to the Walmart some time around mid-October, I threw up in my mouth a little. Peeking out behind the plastic cauldrons and foil pumpkins were the red and green tinsel and cotton beard telltale signs of Yuletide. I remember a time when Christmas decorations popped up the day after Thanksgiving. But two weeks before Halloween? You gotta be joking me.

My mother, on the other hand, is the kind of person who likes to have her Christmas shopping done before the back-to-school rush. So when she told me earlier this week that she was almost finished buying presents, I said “What’s the hurry? It’s not even Thanksgiving yet!” She gave me the same old song and dance routine of “I don’t like crowds” and “I like being prepared.” I don’t understand the point of Christmas shopping if you didn’t need a machete to hack through the thick forest of shoppers or have to wrestle a dozen other moms for the last <insert the latest age-appropriate holiday gift fad here>. “Whatever, Mom. You’re weird.”

Due to my inclinations to procrastinate or be spontaneous (sometimes the latter is a result of the former), I’ve never understood the drive to be prepared for something weeks, months or, let’s be honest, days ahead of time. Take the following facts into evidence:

1. In the last five years, I’ve sent a birthday gift to a family member on time only once. (If you figure for 20 birthdays in the last five years, that’s a 5% success rate.)
2. While moving this summer, I discovered among my belongings 1 Father’s Day card, 2 Mother’s Day cards, a Nurse’s Day card, and 6 birthday cards that I had bought, filled out, and addressed, but never mailed.
3. Last year, I bought my family’s Christmas gifts 15 minutes before leaving town for break.
4. Nine and a half times out of ten, I’d rather spend several hours cleaning my place the day before or day of plans to have people come over instead of picking up a little bit each day beforehand.

Now, those are just few examples of my good intent paired with lack of follow through. After talking to my mother, however, I decided that this year would be different.

So, freshly under the influence of my mother’s planning prowess, I decided to assess the status of my gift situation. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve picked up an item here or there that I thought would be a good part of a gift for one of my parents or sisters, but had never gone out shopping with the express purpose of purchasing a Christmas present. Sweeping back the curtain that hides my cluttered closet, I dug through the wreckage to determine just what I had left to purchase.

Present for Mom and her husband? Check.
Present for Dad? Check.
Present for Pidge? Check.
Present for Rhea Rhea? Check.
Second present to serve as Rhea Rhea’s birthday gift? Check.

With no more gifts to buy and 40 some shopping days left to spare, I had (accidentally) planned ahead for the first time in my life.

I guess that means this year I’ll have to find something else to give me the adrenaline rush of going to five different stores to find the right item and waiting in line behind the grandmother who wants a price check on 40% of the items in her cart. Got any ideas?