fame

Geez… you intend to get back to business on a blog and before you know it–two weeks have already passed! Anyway, I have a good excuse as I recently made a weekend trip to Ohio to visit the family. My mom was celebrating the big 5-0 birthday and the baby sister, Pidge, was starring in her high school production of FAME. [start sidebar] In spite of the terrible Midwestern winter weather we’ve been having, I managed to make a drive to Wisconsin and fly in and out of Milwaukee without incident. Five minutes into my drive home, however, I was stranded on the freeway with what turned out to be a busted radiator. 36 hours and $500 later, I was finally on the road home. Needless to say, this has been a pretty stressful week. [end sidebar]

Back to my sister’s play. She was awesome! I’ll be the first to admit that perhaps I am a little biased in my opinion being that she’s my sister and all. But the people behind me were saying. “Wow, she’s good…” every time she sang, so I have a couple objective opinions to back me up. Anyway, some of the lyrics got me thinking. In the song called (not surprisingly) “Fame,” the character Carmen sings, “I’m gonna live forever… People will see me and cry.” I was reminded of a poem that was one of my favorites in high school and that I’ll post for you all now that takes about fame in a different way.

Famous

By Naomi Shihab Nye

The river is famous to the fish.

The loud voice is famous to silence,

which knew it would inherit the earth

before anybody said so.

The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds

watching him from the birdhouse.

The tear is famous, briefly, to the cheek.

The idea you carry close to your bosom

is famous to your bosom.

The boot is famous to the earth,

more famous than the dress shoe,

which is famous only to floors.

The bent photograph is famous to the one who carries it

and not at all famous to the one who is pictured.

I want to be famous to shuffling men

who smile while crossing streets,

sticky children in grocery lines,

famous as the one who smiled back.

I want to be famous in the way a pulley is famous,

or a buttonhole, not because it did anything spectacular,

but because it never forgot what it could do.

Reading this poem again really resonated with me. I’ve been having difficult time with work lately. Yeah, it’s been stressful. Yeah, I’ve been working long hours. Yeah, I’m starting to feel like butter scraped over too much bread, as Bilbo Baggins might say. I know that I’m reasonably decent at my job. I know that what I do every day is making a difference in people’s lives. But I know in my gut that I’m not doing what I’m meant to be doing, if you know what I mean.

So it’s that last line, “because it never forgot what it could do” that’s getting to me. I feel like I have forgotten what I can do, that I’m not living up to my potential to reach out and help more people. If only there were such a thing as a Jewish nun, I’d be pretty much set. At any rate, I’ll be here for another couple years due to a verbal agreement with my supervisor, but after that, I’ll be off to figure out what it is I am really supposed to be doing with my life. (Any ideas or suggestions are appreciated.)

molly pocket and meth labs

AD: What is that?
Me: The cap to my flash drive.
AD: Oh, it looked like a little Molly Pocket purse or something.
Me: You mean Polly Pocket? Yeah, I just have tons of her stuff lying around.
AJ: Or it could be a mini meth lab.
Me: What, in this little thing?
AJ: I said “mini.”
AD: So, wait Polly Pocket is making meth now?
Me: Can you imagine if they sold that?  In a little plastic shell?  “Polly Pocket’s Merry Meth Lab!”  You’d open it up and there be all these tubes and smoke coming out…
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This was a conversation between my co-managers and I today when we were supposed to be working on the schedules for next month.  Both of these women are around 15 years older than me, which isn’t surprising as I am the youngest one in the office.  Since I have a hard time fitting in with most of my co-workers–who are married with a couple of kids–it’s cool to have fun conversations like this.

my ‘lifestyle’

Last Friday, I had my in-home interview for the local mentoring program. I’d spent the entire week preparing my home–and myself–and thought I was pretty much ready for anything. The interview started off well, then came this question:

“How do you plan on talking to your mentee and their family about certain aspects of your lifestyle?”

Such an open-ended question! My mind was racing with thoughts, “Well, I guess I’ll just tell them that I’m a vegetarian and don’t eat meat…” “I am converting to Judaism, but I’m not going to proselytize to the child or their family…” “I’ll encourage them to recycle and reuse items, but I’m not on a mission to reduce their waste output…” and finally, “What the hell is this woman talking about?”

When I asked her to clarify what she meant by ‘lifestyle,’ she replied, “Well, a couple of your references mentioned that you’re a lesbian…”

Oh, that lifestyle.

sorry for the delay…

Things have been a little hectic around here lately.  I’ve had a few posts in draft form for a few weeks now, but with a survey to prepare for at work, friends visiting from out of town, dealing with top-secret work stuff, and being the manager on-call I haven’t had a lot of time to edit and post.  Also, not having internet or a working computer at home contributes to my inability to post whenever the spirit moves me.  Since all that stuff is over now, I will hopefully have some of those posts–and perhaps a few new ones–up within the week.  Thanks for your patience to those of you who are still lingering.